The shocking state of Black marriage: experts say many will never get married

Dr. Hare adds that while many couples work on creating drama in their relationships, they often won't seek help in quashing the drama when their marriage is in trouble. "You have to work at a marriage," she says. "We will work hard to get the latest Manolo Blahnik shoes. We're too quick to give up [on marriage]."

Along with working on improving relationships for those who are married, Dr. Guy-Sheftall offers the following solutions to increase the Black marriage rate--lowering unemployment, changing the policy toward nonviolent drug offenders, reducing the HIV/AIDS rate, decreasing the desertion, separation and divorce rate and increasing the re-marriage rates for Black women.

Other experts say the primary answer to increasing the Black marriage rate is increasing family income. "The stresses and strains are much greater on families whose income is less," says Dr. Charles Vert Willie, author and Charles William Eliot Professor of Education emeritus, Harvard Graduate School of Education.

Dr. Willie adds that the fact that the Black median income is only two-thirds of White median income (Whites, $53,000; Blacks, $34,000) affects the marriage rate. "The disparity in the income is a major factor associated with the people who never marry or who don't re-marry after they have been divorced. A Black median income that is only two-thirds that of Whites in the year 2000 is a shame," says the pioneering author and sociologist.

Despite all of these problems, the unbelievably tough and resilient Black family--as recent statistics prove--is alive and well. Not only is the number of Black married couples increasing, but Black men and women are continuing to pioneer extended family arrangements and equal partner arrangements.

Dr. Willie says that the crisis of the Black family is only one aspect of the general crisis of the family in America and that Black men and women are creating new paths for all to follow.

"Blacks are leading the nation in relationships where the husband and wife are partners in an equal way, where neither the husband nor the wife has dominant power," he says. "Persons in these kinds of relationships feel much more comfortable, productive and happy. Hopefully this is where our society is headed."

COPYRIGHT 2003 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group