Putting children first in a jet-set family

IN the fashionable world of arts and entertainment, there are social butterflies, those well-heeled souls who know all the right people and get invited to all the right parties, and then there are those VIP-ticket-holding, platinum-card-carrying, red-carpet-walking types who represent the very essence of the "in" crowd.

The Spencer family of New Jersey are definitely red-carpet types.

Jameel Hasaan Spencer is president of Blue Flame Marketing and Advertising and chief marketing officer for Bad Boy Worldwide (P. Diddy Combs' multimillion-dollar corporation). His wife, Cheryl, a freelance photographer, owns a Rolodex filled with the names and numbers of celebrities whom she considers close friends.

And even the Spencer children have high-profile gigs--7-year-old Jamani and his 5-year-old sister Nia are both Ford models and have appeared in major advertising campaigns.

Jameel says that his family represents the new wave of young urban professionals who are making good money and thus are expected to enjoy the social lifestyle of the young, rich and famous.

"This lifestyle is the new urban economy where we're making a lot more money than our parents made," Jameel explains. "And we really represent the hip-hop economy, the companies that are on the peripheral of the culture of hiphop."

Cheryl agrees.

"I was a publicist for 15 years in the entertainment industry, so I'm still very social," she laughs. "I attend many different events--it could be a premiere, or one of the many parties that Jameel does with Puff [Sean Combs], but there's always something going on."

But the Spencers want to make one thing abundantly clear: Yes, they are jet-setters, but their children will always come first.

And despite all the pomp and circumstance that their social lives entail the Spencers' daily grind is very similar to that of the typical working Black family.

"I wake up around 6:30 a.m., get myself dressed and then I get the kids up, fix breakfast, get them dressed and ready for school," Cheryl says. "Once they're ready, Jameel joins us and we take them to school together."

Afterwards, the couple heads to the gym to work out (with separate personal trainers). Back at home, Cheryl prepares a steak-and-egg breakfast for her husband before he heads off to work. During the day Cheryl runs business-related errands in the city, and in the afternoon she picks the children up from school.

After school is when the home-schooling session begins.

"I believe that your primary learning place is at home," Cheryl says. "I have to take responsibility for their education. I just can't expect a new person to come into my children's life every year and teach them everything they should know."

Every evening, after the children complete their homework assignments, Cheryl provides what she calls "mommy work," additional homework that emphasizes what they learned in school.

"I buy workbooks based on what they're learning in school," she says. "I give them homework as well, and when they do well they will receive stars and stickers on my homework chart. When they complete one of the workbooks they get rewarded--we can go to the store and pick out whatever they want"

Currently, Nia is keeping pace with her kindergarten studies, learning her colors, numbers and the alphabet. Jamani, who is in second grade, is reading and doing simple math. After school Jamani plays baseball, football and basketball and is learning to play the guitar.

As Cheryl is preparing the children for the evening, her husband Jameel is still hard at work.

On any given day, Jameel is pitching advertising campaigns, hosting conference calls or spearheading presentations in various other cities; many of his clients are on the West Coast, which means that he needs to stick around the office until the close of their business day.

Late-night business dinners are also a part of Jameel's routine, as he often hosts clients or potential clients after his office work is done.

But no matter how long his workday extends, Jameel and Cheryl take the children to school every morning, together.

"You have to make time for your children. You have to treat [parenting] as the most important [job] in your life," Jameel says. "When I go on business trips, I'm the type of person who goes to L.A. for the day. I take the first flight in the morning and get on the red-eye coming back home. You have to make all kinds of sacrifices, and put all kinds of demands on your body in order to make sure that you have enough time to be a good father."

Jameel says the he is determined to offer his children the father-figure that he missed as a youngster.

"It was really different for me because my parents were divorced 14 months after I was born, so I didn't really grow up with a father," Jameel says. "So I knew that once I did have a family, I was going to be a part of my kids' life, no matter what. We all go bowling together and I'm involved with every sport that Jamani's involved with, and I coach basketball. Whatever he wants to do, I'm going to be really supportive of him."